Want a romantic portrait by the Eiffel Tower but can't afford the ticket?

Don't spend ages faffing around cutting things out in Photoshop, stagnating indoors whilst your friends frolic in the sunshine.

Step 1) Go to B & Q and purchase a ladder, some 'No More Nails' contact adhesive and a broom handle.

Step 2) Drive to your favorite motorway and find a Billboard with the Eiffel tower on it

Step 3) Get your partner / associate to cover your back in 'No More Nails' contact adhesive. Return the favour in kind. Also use said adhesive to attach your Camera to the broom handle you bought earlier.

Step 4) Drink your weak lemon drink now, or save it for later.

Step 5) Pick a spot in front of the Billboard and get your partner to hold the ladder you bought earlier whilst you quickly climb it. Your weight on the ladder should cause it to tip backward, forcing you neatly against the surface of the billboard. The 'No More Nails' contact adhesive should hold you firmly in place.

Step 6) Get your partner / associate to pass you the Broom handle camera device and then ask them / her / she to climb the ladder also, slightly to the left and or right of you.

Step 7) Kick away the ladder so it does not ruin your shot.

Step 8) Set the Camera on timer and then move it away from you so you're holding the opposing end of the broom handle.

Step 9) Wait for the marketing company to replace the billboard, head home and enjoy your romantic snap and fools your friends into thinking the time you've been missing without a trace was spent in Paris, not near the M1.